Hollywood’s bleeding, vampires feedin’
Darkness turns to dust
Everyone’s gone, but no one’s leavin’
Nobody left but us
Tryna chase a feelin’, but we’ll never feel it
Ridin’ on the last train home
Dyin’ in our sleep, we’re living out a dream
We only make it out alone

I just keep on hopin’ that you call me
You say you wanna see me, but you can’t right now
You never took the time to get to know me
Was scared of losin’ somethin’ that we never found
We’re running out of reasons, but we can’t let go
Yeah, Hollywood is bleeding, but we call it home

I’m listening to this song so loud right now I wouldn’t be surprised if my ears started bleeding. You know my favorite fucking part of music and how I started writing was, music makes you feel like you’re not alone. Especially music like this, where there’s a raw emotion to it. Writing is the same. If you’re willing to write what you truly feel, even though it may make people concerned or uncomfortable, it’s an opportunity to let people know they’re not alone.

Post wrote this song right around the time he moved out of LA for good. He moved to Utah, which seems like a big change. From the life of the rich and famous to….mormons.

Read the words though, listen to him perform it live, the rawness. He fucking hated Hollywood because he felt like he was surrounded by people sucking the life out of him(his words not mine). There’s only so long you can live like that.

Hollywood isn’t the only place bleeding right now. All over the country, all over the world.

Everyone’s gone, but no one’s leavin’

People are disappearing more than ever, not physically or literally, but in the society we live where we just ghost people who are struggling or ghost people we don’t agree with. Everyone’s gone but nobody is leaving. You still see them every day, they still watch your social media.

Tryna chase a feelin’, but we’ll never feel it

I’ve been chasing feelings for.. a long time. I don’t mean just feelings in general, but there’s always these little specific moments in life that are so impactful or for a moment made all the noise go quiet that all you’re looking for is that feeling again. Those are the feelings you never feel when you wanna feel them. They’re the feelings you don’t realize how much you enjoyed until they’re gone, the feelings you can’t get back.

I just keep on hopin’ that you call me
You say you wanna see me, but you can’t right now
You never took the time to get to know me
Was scared of losin’ somethin’ that we never found

We all have that *pause* MOST of us have that person who if their name showed up on your phone right now, you’d sigh in relief as the anxiety faded out. That person that allows you to forget for a second the weight of the world that’s usually rested comfortably on your shoulders. That person that always has an excuse for why they can’t see you. That person you know so much about but they don’t know much about you because you made it about them, you focused on them, and that level of detail and attention, caring about it, caring about someone that much makes them get lost in that. It’s the spot where people forget to get to know you. Before you know it after a couple of good conversations and a couple of *those* moments the person grows cold out of fear. Afraid that if they get too close they’ll lose something they didn’t take the risk to experience in the first place.

Wish I could go, oh, I’m losin’ ho-ope
I light a candle, some Palo Santo
For all these demons, wish I could just go on

You know the thing I’ve always been oddly proud of is my ability to shut down. My ability to start losing hope but nobody knows because you just keep going. Sometimes in life hope feels like the thing killing you the most. Sometimes the hope doesn’t exist at all. I have hope for others, but I don’t have hope for me. I’ve lost it, and maybe some day it’ll come back but today, I light a candle for all the demons that are chipping away.

Nobody tells you that when you have an encounter with god you also have one with the devil. Once you try to live a godly life is when the devil is more present than ever trying to take you back. The hardest part is no one tells you just how tempting it is to turn your back on god and follow the devil. The demons tell lies that when you’re struggling, seem like the truth. I believe it is the truth.

I don’t believe I deserve the love and mercy and grace of god. I share with others godly moments because I don’t believe it’s too late for them, but for me, the next 40+ years of my life won’t be saved by god. Sometimes I’m not sure god can save me from the mind I was born with, from the things I’ve seen. God was an easy way out for me. I was in a dark place and the idea in believing in something was easier than believing in nothing. God represents love and hope. To me he only represents the opportunity to give others love and hope. He can’t give me something I don’t believe I deserve. Something I don’t want to accept; Love. He can save anyone, but he can’t save me if I won’t let him. The price we pay of living with a tormented mind.

I just keep on hopin’ that you call me
You say you wanna see me, but you can’t right now
You never took the time to get to know me
Was scared of losin’ somethin’ that we never found
We’re running out of reasons, but we can’t let go
Yeah, Hollywood is bleeding, but we call it home

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.