Look, I’ve tried. I’ve really tried. I’ve downloaded the apps, I’ve played the game, I’ve waited three hours to text back because apparently, showing actual interest is a red flag now. I’ve crafted the perfect “effortlessly cool but still approachable” profile, cycled through the same five opening lines, and sat across from way too many first dates that felt more like job interviews for positions neither of us wanted. And I’m tired.

Modern dating is a disaster. A soul-sucking, time-wasting, performative mess where we’re all pretending to be too busy, too mysterious, or too indifferent to actually connect with one another. We’re living in an era where saying “I had a good time, let’s do this again” is considered desperate, but leaving someone on read for three days is just how things work.

Everything is a game, and I’m not interested in playing anymore.

Take dating apps, for example. They were supposed to make things easier, but instead, they’ve turned attraction into a numbers game. Swiping has become muscle memory, faces blur together, and no one actually takes the time to get to know anyone because there’s always the possibility of something better just one more swipe away.

And let’s talk about ghosting. The modern-day courtesy of just disappearing rather than having an actual conversation. How did we get to the point where “I don’t think we’re a match” is too much effort? Is basic decency too much to ask for?

Then there’s the situationship, the absolute pinnacle of modern dating absurdity. A relationship, but not really. Feelings, but only in theory. Commitment? God forbid. We’ve become so terrified of defining anything that we’d rather exist in a perpetual state of ambiguity than risk an actual conversation about what we want.

I don’t think it’s supposed to be like this. I don’t think dating is supposed to feel like trying to crack some unspoken code, where any sign of vulnerability is a losing move. I don’t think love is meant to be a strategic balancing act between seeming interested but not too interested.

So yeah, I’m over it. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather meet someone in the wild, where algorithms and arbitrary rules don’t dictate every interaction. I want real conversations, not half-hearted small talk in a sea of dead-end matches. I want someone who actually wants to be there, not someone who’s just keeping me around until they get bored.

Modern dating is exhausting. And frankly, I have better things to do.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.