It’s makin’ me lose my mind
I thought about thinkin’ it through
And every time I do I find
I wanna make your dreams come true
I think I’m in love with you
I’m in love with you

I have some nice things to say for a change. I was listening to this song on my way home and I’ve listened to it countless times, I think it’s a great song. Isn’t it the best when you hear a song you’ve heard a bunch and something really stands out suddenly? Like you were supposed to keep listening for that moment. Well I got my moment with this song today.

I was on 93 in traffic and the lyrics you read above sounded like they came out of my speakers in bold lettering if that was possible. If we’ve never really had an in depth conversation or you don’t know me well, I’m a very curious person. I like to understand people, and to truly understand people I think you need to ask hard hitting questions. Most of the people I care about that have come into my life in the last two years let’s say, I know pretty fucking well. It’s because I ask questions with intention behind it. We’ll use my best pal Alison for this example because I know she won’t mind.

Alison and I were very fortunate to meet when I worked at 1928, for a brief delusional moment I may have had a crush, but that’s beside the point. Alison and her boyfriend used to come in to 1928 and I’d talk with them pretty regularly and they’d come in regularly. Turns out the guy was a real piece of shit BUT the last conversation the three of us had was about going bowling and about Alison having her birthday at 1928. For me this is a light bulb moment. If she’s going to have her birthday at 1928 I need a lot of information in order to make sure it’s the evening I’d plan for anyone, but especially people I care about. When douchebag and Alison broke up, that’s right he doesn’t get a name, we decided we’d stick to our plan of going bowling, but douchebag was no longer invited. So we went, and for the first little while it was small talk which to be blunt, I really fucking hate. Through that small talk though I’d throw in a seemingly random question, even though I literally had a list written in my phone. Favorite flowers: pink roses. Favorite colour in general: pink. Favorite drink: Espresso Martini. Favorite dessert: it turns out Alison grew up a town over from where I owned a house a couple years ago, so when she said the strawberry cake from piros, I actually knew what she was talking about. I had everything I needed from one conversation, but we continued to hangout and I continued to learn that she’s similar to me in curiosity. One day she dragged me to paint pottery on Newbury street, perhaps the biggest waste of like $300 I’ve ever spent, but it was a good time as much as I hate to admit it. During that conversation we got on the topic of wine because I’d like to be a master sommelier one day even though I won’t be, and champagne specifically.

So for Alison’s birthday, simply by listening to her through a few conversations, I was able to pull off everything I hoped for. A magnum of champagne for the table to start. Not any champagne a blanc de blanc made by billiecart salmon. Honestly a great wine. Each table was set with vases of pink roses. She drank mostly espresso martinis, however I did also make a pink Ramos gin fizz somewhere in there. Of course when it was time for dessert I had her favorite cake from piros ready to go. What our generation misses most is opportunities. We focus too much on how we’re going to respond that we don’t actually hear people. I’d argue no one knows her better than me, and that’s intentional.

So why the long story? what’s it have to do with the song?

I wanna make your dreams come true

This is the line that really stood out. For most of my life I thought dreams were the things you’d love to do but weren’t possible. It wasn’t until recently that I realized dreams are our most audacious goals, but they’re still obtainable. Recently when I realized that dreams are achievable, and that you can just make them come true through hard work, I slowly cared less and less about my dreams, and now I’m not sure I care about them at all. My dreams existed because it gave me something to chase, but once I realized I can achieve them all, the chase becomes less intriguing.

Now I focus more on other people’s dreams. I ask everyone I meet what their dream is. Recently one of the young ladies I work with said she dreams of being a flight attendant, she’s in school learning English so she can become one. I told her when she’s ready to chase her dream to call me. Some of my closest friends work for American Airlines and have since I was nearly a baby, and they’d be happy to help her become a flight attendant. A young kid that works in one of our kitchens told me the other day he dreams of opening a restaurant and getting a star. This dream I didn’t crush but I don’t fully support.

When you decide to chase something like a James beard award or a star or any of the big accolades in restaurants, you slowly lose touch with why you’re doing it in the first place. I asked him, do you like to cook? he said he loves it it’s everything to him. I said great then open a restaurant where you can be passionate, and display your creativity, if you get a star amazing, if you don’t, also amazing. The accolade wasn’t what made you start this career, don’t let it be the thing that defines your success in the career. I went on to name all the things I’ve accomplished and he was in awe. What I said next really spoke to him though. He said you’ve done all that at your age? I said yes and guess what? I still go to sleep feeling empty every night, I didn’t chase the passion, I chased to accolades.

I’ve learned over the last couple of months that I don’t hate anyone, in fact I love everyone. I think I fall in love with people all the time, because if you try to focus on the good people have to offer, that’s all you’ll see. The world is much more beautiful that way. Now I just want to make people’s dreams come true. Maybe I’ll still follow mine, but serving others is much more fulfilling. Seeing genuine excitement on someone’s face is one of the greatest feelings I’ve ever experienced. It’s why I miss my dog so much. She was genuinely excited every time she saw me, that level of love and innocence is a bright light in this dark world.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.