Look, don’t invite me over if you throw another pity party
Lookin’ back, it’s hard to tell you where I started
I don’t know who love me, but I know that it ain’t everybody
I can never love her, she a busy body
Baby, if you want me, can’t be turnin’ up with everybody, nah
Can’t be fuckin’ on just anybody, yeah
I got feelings for you, that’s the thing about it, yeah
You know that it’s somethin’ when I sing about it, yeah
Mama used to be on disability but gave me this ability
And now she walkin’ with her head high and her back straight
I don’t think you feelin’ me, I’m out here
Bein’ everything they said I wouldn’t be and couldn’t be
I don’t know what happened to them guys that said they would be
I said see you at the top and they misunderstood me
I hold no resentment in my heart, that’s that maturity

For the record I know how the song title is actually spelled, I’m not a moron. I think I’ve written about this song before, this verse to be exact. I really like it, but it feels like so much to unpack that you almost have to do it in pieces.

Look, don’t invite me over if you throw another pity party
Lookin’ back, it’s hard to tell you where I started
I don’t know who love me, but I know that it ain’t everybody

I don’t really have pity for people, I feel bad for people with genuine problems, but these days people complain about the littlest things, and for that I don’t feel bad. We’re lucky to be here, and life and the world doesn’t owe you dick, so stop crying about the little things. There’s people out there that don’t even have clean drinking water, let’s remember how lucky we are to be where we are. I know some people are really gonna hate what I just said, but I know not everybody loves me, some days I convince myself nobody loves me, and I prefer that feeling.

I can never love her, she a busy body
Baby, if you want me, can’t be turnin’ up with everybody, nah
Can’t be fuckin’ on just anybody, yeah
I got feelings for you, that’s the thing about it, yeah
You know that it’s somethin’ when I sing about it, yeah

This one, gonna get me in a bit of trouble, but I’ll double down. There are a lot of busy bodies in the world these days. People who are always out and have 6 groups of friends and go out with different people to different places and put on different faces. I don’t think just because you’re a busy body and out getting fucked up with people means you’re just out fucking people, but neither is really a good look in my opinion. At the end of the day that’s just an opinion though. If I have feelings for you I’m never gonna sing about it, but I’ll probably write about it. If I’m writing about it it just means I think about it or you a lot.

Mama used to be on disability but gave me this ability
And now she walkin’ with her head high and her back straight
I don’t think you feelin’ me, I’m out here
Bein’ everything they said I wouldn’t be and couldn’t be

I had a conversation about this one today. My dad is on disability and was talking about how he doesn’t understand how lazy one of my brothers is. I told him the only things he taught me in life were to work hard and have a bad attitude, both I think I do well. He also taught me to change a tire and a bunch of illegal shit, but really the take away from that side of the family is I have a bad attitude and I can out work anyone. It’s funny while we were talking about it I was clocking into work at 50 hours. I think when work is the only thing you have to make you not feel alone or hated in life, you spend more time doing it.. Maybe that explains my dad. Now he’s on disability though and that motherfucker is as lazy as they come. I’ll never be that, I had too many people tell me I couldn’t as a kid, even as an adult, I’ve never felt like anyone has actually believed in me, so I work hard to prove them wrong, and some day I just might.

I don’t know what happened to them guys that said they would be
I said see you at the top and they misunderstood me
I hold no resentment in my heart, that’s that maturity

A lot of people in this life say they’re gonna do things, they say they’re gonna help you do things, and most of them don’t follow through. I’m not mad at it, but don’t be confused when I say I want something, I’m going to go get it and then I do. I’m ambitious and driven and some days I wish I was like the masses, just punched a clock worked my 40 hours and called it a day. Some days that life seems easier than this one, and it probably is. I don’t think it’s the ambition and drive that are the problem. It’s the lack of patience and lacking the ability to see 1000 feet down the road instead of what it is right here right now. It’s good to live in the present, but the future is what keeps you hopeful and going.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.