Our love will never be another
You’re just a devil undercover
Found you when you were in the gutter
It was sweet until I was a sucker, shout out Jonas Brothers
I learned more than I cared to discover
Don’t you know that I’m more than a come up?
You act up and then act like it’s nothin’
Sold your soul, you stone cold, you a stunner

Every time you left it was never right
In another bed every single night
Had it to a science, you were so precise
See it in your eyes, saw you in the light
Somehow, mami, I still want you
Listen to me, don’t drive away
Kill me softly, your hold on me is
Somethin’ I can’t explain

I know you could never be my bitch
It could never be like this
I know, stop thinkin’ you’re in my plans
Hunnid times you blew another chance
I know you were gettin’ down on the low
Then runnin’ back to me in the morning
I know it could never be like this
You could never be my bitch
No, no

I took a walk down Newbury street today to buy a pair of Blundstones, and thought to myself that I shouldn’t be allowed on Newbury street. It’s full of high fashion and Zara girls. Two things I cant resist even though I should.

Then I started thinking about the last Zara girl that I dated, it led to a 6 year relationship, with a house and a dog, and her waking up one day and deciding to leave to be a coastal cowgirl because the guy she left me for is in a shitty country band.

Don’t you know that I’m more than a come up?

Then I realized that without her doing that I wouldn’t be as content as I am at the moment, with most parts of my life. I think something feels like it’s missing, but overall I’m content. Cautious not to use the word happy because I’m overly ambitious and with all the shit I want to and am going to accomplish in life, happiness isn’t here yet, it’ll get there in time.

I also realized that if there’s 8 billion people on the planet, and 4 billion are women, 3,999,999,900 are probably a giant waste of my time. I’d say there’s 100 or less women in this world that could grab and hold my attention, and have me not see through their bullshit.

stop thinkin’ you’re in my plans

At the end of the day I have a lot of plans in life, and there isn’t a woman in any of them. I don’t need a partner in life. Do I want one? Sure. Am I perusing? Sure. At the end of the day anyone I date has to bring value to my life though, you can’t just be a pretty face, respectfully, there are plenty of those in the world.

I’m slowly seeing people in my life for what they are, and those are the people that ultimately won’t be in my life in 6 months. I’ll sound like a real arrogant douche when I say my time is too valuable to waste it on anyone who’s not on the same page as me. Or to waste it on anyone that can’t keep up. Let’s be honest here.

Yesterday afternoon I hung out with a couple at the restaurant. The woman has been in a few times and said she felt a “soul connection” with me, then brought her husband in to meet me and invited me to their house for a dinner party with their rich pals because they wanna help me open my own restaurant. All of that was very nice. She tried to hand me $500 because I gave them a full chartreuse tasting and she wanted me to have it not the server. I declined because 1. it’s illegal, and 2. I don’t do this shit for the money.

After she went home with her husband she was texting me. Women like that are a walking red flag, so like I don’t have time for that shit.

I think I struggle with this feeling because for so long having women be interested in me was like validating because I had no self worth, now I don’t really give a fuck if they’re interested, unless they’re going to be clear about their intentions, be honest, and add value to my life.

Rather be single for life
Than be fucking with you.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.