Don’t you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake?
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?
If you’re drunk on life, babe, I think it’s great
But while in this world

I think I’ll take my whiskey neat
My coffee black and my bed at three
You’re too sweet for me
You’re too sweet for me

I really just needed the title to this song, not necessarily the lyrics, but here we are. Today’s question is: Can you be too sweet? or too empathetic?

Yesterday was doomsday for me, the first time in my career I fired someone. When I tell you, I’ve felt a lot of awful things in life, this takes the cake. I did it 15 minutes into service and service for me was ruined, my day was ruined, my drive home ruined, I couldn’t think straight.

Now I didn’t fire someone for no reason or for little reason, in the last 90 days this person has committed so many acts of insubordination that realistically he should have been fired 90 days ago because of how bad the first act was.

Act I: This employee is off on marathon Monday, goes out and gets shit faced, as you do on marathon Monday, shows up to work later in the day, IN UNIFORM, and forces himself on a woman at the bar. If the restaurant had two managers at the time, immediate termination no questions asked.

Act II: This employee in the 70 days I’ve worked at 1928 has been late and absolute minimum of 4 times a week, so that’s 40 times. Mother’s Day brunch he was 2 hours late. This past Saturday he was 4 hours late, is that even late? that’s borderline no call no show in my book.

Act III: This employee blatantly ignores direction from myself and the general manager on the correct way to build a drink, dilute that drink, and serve that drink.

We have a well known policy at 1928, you get 3 chances. 1st written warning is exactly that, second written warning is also just a written warning. If there has to be a 3rd write up it’s not a write up, it’s termination. We’ve explained it to any staff that we’ve had to write up, and it’s been well documented.

The hardest part of service is one of our employees is good pals with the employee that got fired and really threw a fit when he found out, yelling at me and questioning my decision in front of guests, and souring the team for the night. He got a stern talking to by both me and the general manager and if he continues to act as such, will also have to be replaced.

I think the part that the staff misses, is that I don’t want to fire anyone. Firing someone is the worst thing I’ve ever felt, and that’s partially from my childhood trauma. When my dad got fired is when my parents drug use got even worse and everything really began going off the rails. So I’m worried about this guy. I’m worried about how it’ll affect him mentally, if he can afford his bills, what his next job will be. All of it. So worried I’ve reached out to some friends who run restaurants that I think he would be a good fit at.

Am I being too hard on myself?

Am I being too kind to him?

Welcome to generational trauma.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.