Found you when you were in the gutter
It was sweet until I was a sucker, shout out Jonas Brothers
I learned more than I cared to discover
Don’t you know that I’m more than a come up?
You act up and then act like it’s nothin’
Sold your soul, you stone cold, you a stunner

Had it to a science, you were so precise
See it in your eyes, saw you in the light
Somehow, mami, I still want you
Listen to me, don’t drive away
Kill me softly, your hold on me is
Somethin’ I can’t explain

What a bananas day. I’ve been in what feels like an alternate world the last week or so, and I think it’s for the better.

Suddenly life feels so good, things feel good, but I have this new good energy in my life and I’m guessing she’s the cause of the optimism.

Sometimes when I write these I wish I could just think the thoughts and they’d type themselves, because I’m exhausted from a 14 hour day, but I know if I don’t write it down now I’ll forget and some thoughts are too important to forget.

Tomorrow is potentially the day the optimism ends, I have to fire someone tomorrow around 4:30. It’s a daunting task, but the correct the decision nonetheless.

Let’s get back to what were here for.. The feeeeels. Have you ever met someone and known that regardless of the situation you met them in, that at some point that situation would change and they’d become an important part of your life?

Well I knew, I know.

I say I don’t actually know because I don’t decide how life plays out, I just have to ride the wave, but there’s this weird gut feeling I’ve been having recently that I’ve never had before and I’m having trouble ignoring it or moving passed it. Honestly gut feelings make me nervous, because they’re usually right, and that scares the shit out of me.

As I start to consider dating and all that bullshit again, I always worry that I won’t be able to live up to the man I want to be, or to the man any woman I’m interested in deserves.

I think when I was younger my heart would stray a bit, but that’s not the case anymore, which is kinda wild to me. I’m happy I’ve become the man I am, but I’d be dammed if I didn’t admit I never thought I’d get here.

Now let’s see if I can stay the course and get what I want.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.