If I try to change direction
I might not find what I’m looking for
But this bitter disposition
By now it’s surely run its course

Now I’ve been given the gift of persistence
But it’s become a curse
Unraveling backward

You know, I’m pretty sure when Dallas named this song “Mizzy C” he wrote it about being a miserable cunt. Just based on some context clues it feels like he’s writing about how can be bitter, but he’s sick of living that way.

I used to be a mizzy c, and it really makes you miss out on so much in life. I’ve now gotten to this point in life where I cant imagine living so bitter and miserable.

Life happens, whether you’re miserable or happy both good and bad things are going to happen, so why not just be happy and deal with the shit when it comes.

Really why I wanted to write this blog is because well, I am a persistent son of a bitch, and honestly that feels like a curse sometimes. It means I have trouble giving up on things, but I guess in some sense, people who give up are quitters, and their lives are probably less fulfilling.

That being said is there a point in time where you’re supposed to give up?

I don’t personally believe in giving up on things because if at some point the thing you’re considering giving up on was worth the effort, it’s probably still worth the effort. Whether it be a job, a person, whatever it is in life, staying the course is worth it.

Especially with people. If someone was special enough that you’re putting the effort in, I don’t believe in giving up, because in a world of 8 billion people if you find a person who’s company you enjoy enough to spend your precious time with them, talking to them, or building a connection, why would you ever let that go?

I guess there’s moments in time where people do things that feel like they did you wrong, but don’t attribute to malice what you can simply attribute to incompetence. Everyone is living in their own little world, and a lot of people just aren’t aware of how their actions can affect others, they don’t mean to wrong you, we’re just all here trying to figure life out, and making mistakes in the process. If someone makes the same mistake over and over then you can probably attribute it to malice.

Personally I’m persistent because I don’t put myself out there often, as I know the value of my time. I work a lot and I enjoy that, but if I’m going to take time out of my day to text you or hangout with you there has to be something special about you because I could be using that time to accomplish all my professional goals in life, and I could be spending my free time taking care of my mental health.

A long winded way of saying if I go out of my way to talk to you or hang out with you, you’re welcome, because I have other things I could and sometimes should be doing with the time.

I wanna change direction.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.