Hide your secrets, disguise your weakness
And lose yourself inside your busyhead
Burn your bridges and leave no witnesses
All alone inside your busyhead
Your busyhead

You sleep in the moment, but dream like a poet
And all your good grace, like faded tattoos
You spend your days in wait for bad news

Well, I completed my first week of work. I’ll be honest in saying I didn’t know if I was going to be able to do it, and there were a couple of moments of struggle but overall it feels so good to be back at what I love.

Friday I arrived an hour early, and my GM wasn’t there yet so I figured I’d find something to keep myself busy while I waited for him, I looked at the reservations for the night. The secret to restaurants is the code to the iPad and the password to the computer are always easy to figure out. So I opened our iPad to check reservations and saw a few birthdays. I called those reservations and asked for the name of the person celebrating the birthday. After that I cracked into the computer, found the menu software we use, and edited menus to say “happy birthday, so&so!” for all the birthdays that evening.

I saw it done recently for a small reservation and I thought wow, what a little bit of effort can make such a difference. When there’s a larger reservation any restaurant in the city is going to print happy birthday on menus, but to do it when it’s just two people is a little more special, it’s less expected.

I did the same on Saturday, and one was for a 30th birthday. Thank god I did for that table because we were out of lobster tortellini and the birthday girl only wanted that. We had 5 portions aside for a birthday in the back. We do 5 pieces per plate, they’re larger pieces. Instead I had chef do 4 per plate so the birthday girl could also enjoy. They loved the custom menus so much they actually took them with them, they were super grateful and what started off as a generally bad experience ended with people who will celebrate with us again.

My brain operates differently when I’m working again. It’s like I do well in the stress of a restaurant because my nervous system is so out of wack it gives all that extra anxiety a place to go, it makes me calmer.

Thinking about how much we have to accomplish to get where I’d like to be is overwhelming, but it’s making my regular anxiety go away. It’s like my nervous system is the right amount of broken that I fit perfectly in a restaurant.

I know I made some positive impacts on people this weekend, and to be able to be doing that again is something I’m so grateful for. I’ll probably be blogging a bit less, because I’ll be closing the restaurant 3 nights a week, leaving a little early one night, and opening on Sundays.

I know I need to continue to do this though because without it I’m holding too much in. There’s already a server and a bartender who are thorns in my side.

If you wanna make good money and be part of a team who’s going to bring back the golden age of hospitality, you know where to find me.

Til then I’ll be stuck in my busy head.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.