I’m giving up on all the sadness
I’m giving up on all the dark
Wanna walk away from all the madness
That keeps on pulsing through my heart

I can smell the rain
Come down and wash away
I can smell the rain
I know now I will be safe

I always forget about this City and Colour song because it was a single, never made it to an actual record, so it’s a sneaky one. Today it comes into big play though.

I had an interview today, an interview that went extremely well, it’s the exact job I want, with a high salary and good benefits(which is not common in my line of work). I have a stage for it tomorrow, and for those that keep asking what a stage is, it’s pronounced “staj” it’s French and basically means an internship. Here it’s commonly a single shift, you spend a few hours at the restaurant pretending to work there to see if you could see yourself actually working there, you get to hangout, eat, and also learn about the staff and the truth about what they’re whole deal is. I’ve done about a million in the last 10 years.

I had two options for this stage. Do it tomorrow(Saturday) or Monday. I picked tomorrow because well, I’m impatient and don’t do well with anticipation. When I looked at the weather for tomorrow I was relieved. It’s going to rain. Generally speaking and knocking on wood, I do really well on rainy days. They seem to calm my nervous system, I have less anxiety, am more focused and engaged. I function better on rainy days, it’s a very strange thing.

To some degree I took this as a sign. I didn’t know it was going to rain before I made my decision, and Monday, is a bright sunny day, a day that makes me a little more uneasy for some weird reason. It’s not something I can explain because I can’t understand it.

This job I’m staging for tomorrow is sort of dream job stuff, my only concern is, in 9 months I get a promotion if I’m hired, and it’s a promotion I’m not sure I’m ready for. For context the restaurant is independently owned, and the only one at the moment. In 9 months they’ll open another restaurant, which I would become the general manager of. Since I was 18 I’ve just wanted to make it to gm, because that feels like one of the last roles before owner. When I first started at Alcove I expressed this, and I’ve talked with some serious restauranteurs about this, including Master Sommelier Bobby Stuckey who owns a handful of successful restaurants in Colorado, one even has a Michelin star. When I spoke with him he said to find a role that is the role I’d be taking now, take that role, learn everything you can and next step in general manager.

Me feeling a bit like an imposter that isn’t actually good at this, I went to my North Star. Tom Mastricola. Tom has opened several successful restaurants in Boston and in California. After my interview today I called tom and explained what’s going on. He said “sometimes you have to leap, I didn’t get 9 months of training to be a GM I was thrown into it. Follow your gut, do the stages you have lined up and call me next week we’ll talk about next steps”

Now not to throw shade at anyone, but to me a mentor is someone who even when they’re 3000 miles away and in the thick of it, they make 5 minutes to give you advice. When I hung up I sort of realized I was happy I left alcove and that I don’t need anyone there. I have the team I need, and with rain forecasted tomorrow, I’m exactly where I need to be.

I believe in manifestation, but I also believe in jinxing shit. So as much as I want to say I’m going to go in tomorrow, crush the stage, get the job, and be a GM before I’m 30(has been a goal for a hot minute now). Instead I’ll say this:

I’m going to go in, engage with all of the staff, ask questions, show no judgment, observe and help the best I can. I’m going to be upbeat and social, and if it’s meant to be, which feels so, then it’ll be, if not, there are other opportunities out there for me to go have some fun and learn and lead.

Say a good word for me.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.