Everything I know brings me back to us
I don’t wanna go, we’ve been here before
Everywhere I go leads me back to you

Well, are you ready for a sad one?

Today is my first Christmas without Presley, I’ve been in bed all day, as anxious as ever, I feel like I’m falling apart, and when I feel this way I like to write, so I’ll write a letter to Presley here for you all to read.

Dear Presley,

This time last year we were eating Chinese food together, things weren’t great, but we didn’t know they were about to get worse. Last year at this time we had to face one thing, your mom had decided to leave, we were on our own, kid. I didn’t know what the future was going to hold, but I knew I’d have you by my side and that was good enough, or so I thought. Had I known last Christmas would be our last, I would have done things differently, you would have had the best fucking Christmas a dog could possibly have. I was in a bad place, and your last Christmas suffered because of that, I’m sorry. As I sit here writing this, thinking of today and yesterday, last Christmas was my second favorite Christmas I can remember. Just me and you, and that was all I needed. This Christmas wasn’t great, you weren’t here, we found out your cousin has to be put down this coming week, and nothing felt the same. The Christmas of 2021 was my favorite Christmas I remember, your mom and I had just gotten engaged a few days before, and the three of us hung out in pajamas all day, I know I probably shouldn’t have saved that photo but I did, we tried to get a good one but you were being a brat, and even though your mom is in it and we’re not together anymore, it’s one of my favorite pictures of all time. I’m sorry you got sick, and as sad as I am that your cousin’s time has come, I’m happy you’ll have a familiar face wherever you are. I’m sorry that if there is a heaven and you can watch over me, that I’m not doing great, I hope to really pull my shit together over the next few days. I hope next year to begin to put the pieces back together after a year of grieve. Some days I’m scared that I’ll never be able to do it without you. Wherever you are, I hope you know, I love you still, more than anything. I miss you more than I could ever put into words, and I’ll see you again someday.

Love you, miss you. DAD.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.