And everybody saw me sick
And it felt like no one gave a shit
They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid

What if you had it all
But nobody to call?
Maybe then you’d know me
‘Cause I’ve had everything
But no one’s listening
And that’s just lonely

Hello again!

I’ve just wrapped myself in a blanket and got real comfortable for this one. I’m not sure how long it’ll be, but well thought out for sure. I wasn’t going to write tonight, I told myself I’d do it tomorrow, then I remembered that I also told myself I don’t decide when it’s time to write, when it feels like I have something to say or it feels like I need to let something out I’ll write, it’ll never be forced just for the sake of it, and it’ll never be lies to relate to people. With that being said, let’s get to why I’m really here:

First I’ll say one very specific person inspired this topic, a person I don’t know very well, a person I admittedly wish I knew better, I know nothing about this person, other than I feel deep within me that they’re what’s right in the world, they represent kindness, grace, and love. I also know that I feel more supported by her than I do by people I speak to daily, hell I feel more supported by her than I do some of my family, and that’s kinda what this is about.

Silent support.

This person doesn’t send me texts, check in, or even really know the extent of what I’m going through. She just see’s posts of me trying to better myself, and when she likes them, she’s supporting me silently, it turns out that’s her intention, which I’ll get into in a moment because when I asked for permission to write about something she inspired, she said something that drove that inspiration far enough to have me sitting in the dark, writing a blog just after midnight.

Silent support.

She said she finds it interesting when you can see a post has been viewed 80+ times and there is very little interaction. She said everyone should make it a habit to support and be proud of our friends. She couldn’t be more correct and I’d actually like to take her point a step further; Everyone should make it a habit to support and be proud of people making an effort to better their lives, whether you know them well, or not at all, showing support to people who are making an effort is going to do something huge; give them the courage to keep showing up for themselves. Validate the work that they’re doing, recognize that even if they’re not having the best time, they’re seen, they’re heard.

Silent support.

Support doesn’t have to be a conversation, or even a verbal interaction at all, and when I say support I am personally referring to personal support in the mission of bettering yourself, however it doesn’t have to mean that. Support in a small business, support in whatever good you see people doing. Support can be small, and take almost no effort from you. Your friend is an artist? Like their posts, share their posts. Your friend is raising money for a cause important to them? Share the shit out of it. It costs zero dollars to support people these days. A like, a comment, a story reply saying “get the fuck after it!!!!!!!” in a loving way, it’s all free.

My argument to why you should do it? Well for starters it’s kind to support people who are doing good things, and because you’re on social media anyways. Don’t tell me you aren’t, so instead of scrolling by that person on the weight loss journey who is probably really struggling with their body, like the post, comment and let them know they’re crushing it.

My biggest argument though?

People are lonely.

We live in a time where we are more connected than ever, and everyone is scrolling their feed, they’re watching what people are doing, but they aren’t interacting with it.

When I get a like on a post where I shared something vulnerable I let out a sigh of relief. Someone saw me, someone heard me. I’m not alone, maybe that like means they relate, maybe it just means they support me and they’re proud of me.

To the woman who inspired this whole blogs point: be proud of your fucking friends. Support them, even if it’s in small ways.

I have a friend who recently went through a rough time with a partner. Every time that person posts they’re at the gym trying to get better and feel better, I respond, so much so that I honestly annoy myself so I’m probably annoying them. It’s always !!!!!!!! and hyping them up.

It takes a lot to show up for yourself, when you’re battling mental health issues, sometimes the last person you want to show up for is yourself, I’d rather show up for anyone but me some days, and that’s my own trauma I plan to work through, but some days I don’t feel like I deserve someone showing up.

Guess what? I’m learning to show up on the days I don’t want to, and it’s not the likes themselves, I could get 100 likes on a post, but if it’s not from people I know are liking it out of support, as a way of saying keep going, it does nothing for me.

The world is a lonely place, and sometimes people need reassurance, and that’s ok if they do, they deserve it. Everyone deserves to be reassured they’re not alone at the very least. It’s the smallest thing we can do for each other. I don’t expect the 30ish people I actually give access to this to start showing support to me, but at least show support to someone, anyone, and hopefully overtime that small gesture will grow wings, and we’ll have a community that supports each other, one we can be proud to live in. Isn’t that the dream?

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.

PS Your support could literally be the thing that saves someones life. Life is heavy, and when you’re struggling I’m sure you want someone there to carry some of the weight. What goes around comes back.