Hello,

Happy Sunday.

I thought for sure I’d have my “stick season” blog ready for you tonight, I haven’t even started it yet. I’m still doing the mental work before I start the writing process, I am looking forward to it though.

Sometimes I use these passages to connect with people, sometimes people who won’t or don’t talk to me, sometimes otherwise. I say what I want to say, and if you read close enough, you’ll see something different than how everyone else reads it. Isn’t that what writers do? They write from the heart with a specific person in mind often. Not that I’m a writer. Anyways this isn’t what I came here for.

Recently, someone told me their comfort movie was the grinch, having never actually seen the whole movie, I said fuck it. I’ll watch it and maybe I’ll get something from it.

Tonight my sister put the grinch on, I wasn’t actually watching it or paying attention much, but that person immediately popped into my mind. Deciding that thinking of that person isn’t going to get me anywhere, I started actually thinking a little deeper about the movie.

How I can relate to the grinch, who lives alone with his dog, yes I saw that meme too. Anyways it made me wonder what lessons can be taken from such a timeless classic. Here’s what I got:

When someone is unkind or hurtful in their actions, it does not mean they are truly that way in their heart. There is always something deeper causing them to react in certain ways.

I think we all feel this one, I’ve acted unkindly, hurtful, it’s not who I truly am though. Something deeper was causing it, trauma, shame, the uncomfortable reality of what my life was at times. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, it just gives us the opportunity to recognize, and try to change courses, try to be better. That’s all we can do, if you’ve acted in a way you didn’t mean to or want to in the past, accept that it happened, learn from it, move on, you can’t change the past, don’t dwell.

One act of kindness can change a person’s life.

I like to think somewhere along the line, one act of kindness changed my life, I’m not sure what that act was. There’s a couple that come to mind. Recently, someone I admire deeply took the time to explain to me, that I’m going to learn to love myself, and it’s going to be a great journey, and somewhere along the line the love I want will come to me, I don’t have to chase it. Is now a good time to tell that person how I feel? Anyways when I think of this, I think back to the teenager selling candy in the copley mall the day I bought my Saint Laurent hoodie, I hope my act of kindness that day changes that kids life. I hope he gets all he could ever hope for, and gets to experience happiness and good times, more than bad times.

Christmas is far more than gifts under a tree.

This one pokes a wound that has yet to heal, that may never heal. Christmas was special with Presley, not because of gifts or anything, but because there was stability, and consistency. The only things I’ve ever wanted in life were stability, the people that would never turn their backs on you no matter what, Presley was that for me. Each year we’d wear matching pajamas for the last few Christmas’ of her life. This last Christmas we donated gift bags special for each of the dogs at the MSPCA that I adopted her from, we went on December 17th, She wore her pajamas, we took pictures, and each one of those dogs got a bag of goods from Presley, each one had a blanket and some toys, hand written notes too. I decided that would be the tradition for Presley and I moving forward, since her mom and I were no longer together. Unfortunately the day after Christmas is when I found out she had cancer. This year I hope to keep up the trend, only this time I’ll be going alone. I’ll wear the same sweater I wore last year, do the same thing. It’ll probably be really fucking hard, but even more rewarding since it’ll make me feel close to her again.

Well, this blog took a turn I didn’t expect. Now that I’m holding back tears, I think those 3 lessons about the grinch will have to be good enough.

Thanks for being here.

Where the skies are gold not gray,

J.