Last night I dreamt, that they dropped a bomb. Oh the seas ran dry and the winds had calmed. Skyscrapers fell to dust, and crumbled to dust. And their skeletons of steel were covered in rust. Everything I loved and feared has all at once disappeared. Colours were drained straight from the sky, and nothing living had survived. The mountains were merely removed from the earth. Silver and gold had lost all it’s worth.

There’s a lot of hate in the world right now, and it makes me wonder what our future as humans looks like. So much greed and so many power struggles. For what? Innocent people are dying, for what?

I won’t pretend I’m well versed in world politics.

What’s happening in Ukraine doesn’t make sense to me. Over the summer I made friends with a Ukrainian woman who moved here when she was 16. Now she has to watch as friends and family are in danger, being bombed and attacked by Russia, for what? Land?

Countries at war have never made sense to me, I’ve always been pro mind your business. I understand there are times someone needs to step in to stand up for what’s right, but that’s never even the case. We don’t attack another country because of how they treat their people, we attack for our own benefit. For money, for oil, never for the right reasons.

I know it probably sounds ridiculous to say right reason for war, but there are countries who treat their women like second class citizens, hell the way things have been going here we’re next. I don’t believe in that, and if the US wanted to go to war over rights for the people of a country, for the women of a country, sign me up.

We don’t want to fight those wars though, we want wars that give us power and money, and greed, like a playground bully.

I don’t understand the issues with Israel and Palestine, if I read about it I probably still wouldn’t understand because I live in my little safe space called the United States.

It’s amazing how much we forget or even blatantly ignore how good we have it here, myself included.

There are innocent people having bombs dropped on them, women and children kidnapped, abused, assaulted. My guess is it’s because two governments don’t agree on something, and innocent people will pay the biggest toll as always.

I forget how lucky I am as I sit here with my over priced laptop, in my oversized bed, listening to the sound of crickets chirp in the night, that’s how quiet it is here.

I didn’t ask to be born here, and as many problems as I have with our government, I should be ashamed of myself to not show more gratitude every day, as I exist free to do what I wish. No worry of where my next meal will come from. If I’ll have clean water, a shelter.

If everything I know and love will still be there when I wake up in the morning, or will they have been kidnapped, killed, bombed? and for what?

I’m sure I sound ignorant, and honestly I am in this situation, I just don’t understand the violence. I try not to watch it because I can’t control it and it’ll spike my anxiety, I see how my sister reacts though. I see friends worried for their friends and family on both sides. Is either side right? Have both sides done some bad shit? What if they came together to kill the terrorists instead?

It’s a problem I have the privilege to never understand, but how we treat each other as humans burns a hole in me.

Will we get back to loving each other? There’s gotta be a better way.

Where the skies are gold not gray, J.