Take me home, Don’t shut me out. It’s easier to leave me down here on the ground cause enough is enough. I’ve been in a big Posty era since his newest album came out. For those of you who lack coolness “Posty” is Post Malone. To him I think this song is about someone in his life being sick of his use of alcohol. For me this song is about someone being sick of my agoraphobia. This is the first time where it’s hit me that someone would get sick of my agoraphobia. I mean someone besides me. It feels pretty awful to have someone fed up with something you don’t have as much control over as you’d like. I can’t continue to use it as an excuse though, there are so many days where I don’t help myself get better. Days where I allow the agoraphobia, the anxiety, the depression, just have its way with me. I don’t fight it, I don’t challenge it, I just let it win. Today is day 90 in the house and I’ve realized I’ll continue to count days until I take action. I’m only stuck in the house as long as I allow myself to be. I have to give credit to my ex, she was with me for six years during multiple episodes of this and never gave up, until enough was enough. I think everyone has that point and I sit here today and realize this isn’t what I want for myself. At what point do you decide you want more for yourself? Apparently after spending 90 days in the house alone. I’ll break the rules of writing and leave this as one long running paragraph because there’s not much left to say. For 6 years I failed my partner, The first person I could ever fully rely on in life. For the last 90 days I’ve failed myself, the true only person I can rely on. I’m out for revenge. It’s time to fight for the life I want. It’s time to get back to work. It’s time to show everyone who ever doubted me who the fuck I really am. Sorry I am using this as a personal hype speech. October won’t be the same as the last 3 months. It’s my turn for happiness, love, joy, success, all the good things. It’s your turn too. If you’ve been struggling with something recently, I’m here for you. It’s time we get back on track. Enough is Enough.

Where the skies are gold not gray, J.